I hate perfume adverts.
Let’s get one thing straight: it doesn’t matter what scented ambergris you slap on, you will never look like you belong in a perfume advert.
How am I supposed to know what a perfume smells like from the ‘artistically’ driven mini films we are shown? They are so unbelievably cliché they hurt, and require army skills to try and decode what’s going on. Depending on the gender you’ll get one of two scenarios.
Let’s get one thing straight: it doesn’t matter what scented ambergris you slap on, you will never look like you belong in a perfume advert.
How am I supposed to know what a perfume smells like from the ‘artistically’ driven mini films we are shown? They are so unbelievably cliché they hurt, and require army skills to try and decode what’s going on. Depending on the gender you’ll get one of two scenarios.
- If it’s for a lady, they’ll be some half naked model
writhing in flowers or fruit.
- If it’s for a male, they’ll be two half naked models writhing all over each other.
It just makes no sense! Take for instance- Dolche and Gabanna- light blue. Advert- topless male, all shiny with scantily clad lady in a boat in the sun. I’m really sorry, but all I can think of is ‘Eau de sweat a la driftwood.’
Or the Jean Paul Gaultier advert, when a sailor leaves a woman in bed presumably after a night of passion, she sniffs the pillow- I’m presuming she’s inhaling his scent as a sweet memory. No, no, no.
I’ve had experience in this area, and men DO NOT SMELL PRETTY IN THE MORNING. After years of climbing into bed as a child for morning cuddles with my Dad, a mixture of morning breath, sweat and any belchy remainders is what I remember from the male in my life.
- If it’s for a male, they’ll be two half naked models writhing all over each other.
It just makes no sense! Take for instance- Dolche and Gabanna- light blue. Advert- topless male, all shiny with scantily clad lady in a boat in the sun. I’m really sorry, but all I can think of is ‘Eau de sweat a la driftwood.’
Or the Jean Paul Gaultier advert, when a sailor leaves a woman in bed presumably after a night of passion, she sniffs the pillow- I’m presuming she’s inhaling his scent as a sweet memory. No, no, no.
I’ve had experience in this area, and men DO NOT SMELL PRETTY IN THE MORNING. After years of climbing into bed as a child for morning cuddles with my Dad, a mixture of morning breath, sweat and any belchy remainders is what I remember from the male in my life.
I’m so confused.
Just show me the pretty bottle, tell me what it smells like. Nuff said.
Just show me the pretty bottle, tell me what it smells like. Nuff said.
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